The Fat Files

It’s time, my friends, to address the elephant in the room. That elephant, unfortunately, is my bottom, which I have allowed to balloon to a size that it hasn’t been since 2010. I could sit and wax poetic about having no idea how it happened, but I mean, come on. When you gain a significant amount of weight, barring medical issues, you can pretty much pinpoint what’s happened. It’s not like I’m working out every day and eating correctly and gaining weight. If that were the issue, I’d obviously head straight on over to the doctor.


No, my issue is instead that I’m falling back in to long lasting habits that are really hard to break. When I get stressed/upset/sad/less than awesome, I eat. I don’t have to be hungry to do so. I will continue to eat beyond fullness and to the point of misery and sickness. Do you know that feeling on Thanksgiving when you’re sitting around going “Oh, I ate too much. I could be sick!”? I have been in that state for over a month now. On top of that, I’ve been incredibly lazy. Okay, I will cut myself a bit of slack here, though not much, because I have also been sick. Working out when sick isn’t easy. Heck, working out when well isn’t easy either. Working out = not easy.

When you combine these two things, though, you end up where I am now–sitting in front of a computer, trying to make a plan, thinking about eating poptarts or jelly and toast, not going to the gym. You know, the usual.

But wait, Susan, you say, what is your plan? What are you going to do to get back on track? Honestly, I’m not really sure. I have got back to the gym a bit more consistently this week, but I’ve also ate Pop Tarts for 75% of my meals. I’m pretty sure that’s not the balance one should strive for but I’m not exactly the authority right now.


Instead, let me turn this to you. Without going with a cliché answer of “you can do this!” or “just pick yourself up and try again!”, what are your go-tos when you find yourself off the beaten path of health and wellness? How do you get (and stay) back on track when the wheels are off your wagon and it’s on fire?



Exorcising the Excuses

For the past couple of months, I’ve fallen in to a weird rut. This happens to me every so often and I can’t say anything is specifically wrong, but I get in a cycle and having issues breaking it. When this happens, I have a routine but it’s a routine where nothing gets done. I get up, work, eat throughout the day, and go to bed. If it weren’t for the fact that I have to drive to work from our central office twice a week, there’d be a pretty good chance I wouldn’t leave the house. I make plans to do things, but then come up with reasons not to do them and instead stay home (It’s too cold. It’s too hot. I’m tired. My knee hurts.) Continue reading

How was your vacation?

Last week, our offices were closed on Monday and Tuesday in observance of the holiday. #yayfreedom

After a very long end of winter/spring/beginning of summer, I was beyond ready for a couple extra days off. Though I can’t swear that I worked every single day, I spent an obnoxious amount of time fighting off sinus infections and migraines and doing work in my Master’s classes. Due to all this, I needed some down time to do the things that I’ve been putting off.

Like nothing and stuff.


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The will to rise


There are times, I know, when we all fall down. It may be due to something drastic happening, or it could just be because it’s a Tuesday and you woke up with a cat butt on your face. Whatever happens, however, it sets the tone for the day and you find yourself fighting to get back to the “good” or maybe just the “okay” for the rest of the day. It’s hard to fight a battle from the moment you wake up and sometimes the urge is to just not fight it at all.

For that one day, you’ll let yourself fall.

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Your workout buddy

On Monday, I was at the gym, in a place I like to call “Susanland.” It’s where I go when I’ve got about 15 minutes left to a workout and I’m in the midst of trying to convince myself not to stop and just lay down. On that particular day, I was on the Crossramp. It is not the machine I refer to as “the devil machine” if you follow me on Snapchat, but it still gets hard to keep going after 45 minutes. Back to the point, I was in my zone, concentrating on willing the seconds to move faster on the countdown clock on the screen.

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You look great

As anyone who knows me surely knows, I have struggled with living a healthy lifestyle my entire adult life. My weight has ballooned up over and over, and, on the rare occasion, deflated down. This constant struggle makes some days much harder than others. There’s a feeling that I can only mentally equate with what it must feel like to be punched in the gut when you’ve been right on track for three weeks and only see an uptick on the scales.

Now before anyone goes in to “weight isn’t everything! Think of how much better you feel! Your clothes must be fitting better!” pep talk, I know these things. Knowing those things, however, doesn’t stop the fact that I do still have a weight loss goal, though I have that goal set for a full year away. It also doesn’t stop the fact that I don’t always feel great. I’m sorry, but here’s the truth from yours truly… Continue reading

35 (+1)

This morning, I woke up with the realization that I am officially closer to 40 than I am to 30. After making this realization, I burst in to tears and ate an entire chocolate cake.


For the record, I’m just joking about the tears and the cake thing. Honestly, getting older has never really bothered me other than the general acknowledgement that everything is harder than it used to be from getting out of bed to getting over drinking a bottle of wine–the things that used to be nothing more than a second thought have become a reminder that the ol’ body isn’t as wirey as it used to be.


Back to the point, as I was laying there thinking about getting older, I started thinking about planning. With things getting harder to do, what can I do to make them easier and to live a happier, healthier, saner lifestyle. If you read this blog, or know me in person, you know I’m notorious for making plans to do something within the next year. This time, however, I’m thinking bigger. I’m thinking longer. I’m thinking of a 5 year plan.

'My five-year plan is pretty solid, but it gets a little fuzzy after that.'
Whew, that was easy. Off to jail! 

Kidding! We all know I’m too pretty for jail. And by pretty I mean “Soft, lazy, and scared of the dark” for jail. Here’s some things I’d like to accomplish in the next five years:

  1. Finish my Master’s. This is the big one and actually isn’t going to be the easiest to do in just five years. I start back to school in January and I’ll be taking one Master’s class per semester. If I take summer classes, it’s going to take me approximately 100 years to complete the degree. Or 5. Math’s never been my strong suit. When I’m 40, I want to be able to say “Whew, that’s done” and be able to reflect back on how it’s improved my career.
  2. Find a healthy lifestyle that I can stick with forever. Okay, maybe this is the big one. I’ve said this a million times, but I really do want to get and stay healthy. I am tired of the yo-yoing back and forth but I’m not getting better at dropping that game. I’ve started really thinking about what I want to do, the kind of life I want to live, and how I can handle situations that lead to negative choices without making the negative choices. Good news: I’ve come up with a plan. Bad news: I’m going to have to live in a cave and stop all communication with the outside world. This may impact #1.

    Honestly, it’s a lot of thinking without a lot of action. I feel like I’m on to something, though, because I normally dive in to things without a plan, especially when it comes to a healthy lifestyle. That works well for maybe two weeks, but it isn’t a sustainable plan. With taking the time to plan and really think about things, I’m hoping that when I’m 40 I’ll be a little less achy and a little more likely to fit in to my skinny jeans without throwing out a hip.

  3. Get my finances straight. I take it all back. This is definitely the big one. Finances cause me more stress and sleepless nights than either of the other two before. Really, #1 and #2 could probably be listed as “wants” whereas this one is a “need.” Nothing would make me happier then if I could be out of debt by the time I’m 40. This isn’t a realistic goal, though, and I know it. For one, I own a house. Yes, I have renters but that debt isn’t going away until I’m almost 60 and this isn’t a 21 year life plan. However, I can get my rotating debt under control. Knock a chunk out of the student loans, especially since I don’t qualify for any more to cover my Master’s degree.Pay off my car and credit cards. Buy a second home somewhere that it isn’t cold and be a lady of luxury. The last part might not be a smart part of the plan, but you’ve got to have a little bit of a dream, right?

    You tell ’em, Mr. T! 
  4. Keep on being happy. For the past two years, I’ve been living a happy life. I’d like to keep doing that for the rest of my life. Yes, there are ups and downs, but the average of times swing towards happiness. I want to keep that trend going. Life is too short to be unhappy and miserable.

Believe it or not, that’s it. This plan obviously needs fleshed out more but it’s where I’m starting. Welcome, everyone, to my 35th year of life (plus one day). It’s time to slay.