On Monday, I was at the gym, in a place I like to call “Susanland.” It’s where I go when I’ve got about 15 minutes left to a workout and I’m in the midst of trying to convince myself not to stop and just lay down. On that particular day, I was on the Crossramp. It is not the machine I refer to as “the devil machine” if you follow me on Snapchat, but it still gets hard to keep going after 45 minutes. Back to the point, I was in my zone, concentrating on willing the seconds to move faster on the countdown clock on the screen.
As anyone who knows me surely knows, I have struggled with living a healthy lifestyle my entire adult life. My weight has ballooned up over and over, and, on the rare occasion, deflated down. This constant struggle makes some days much harder than others. There’s a feeling that I can only mentally equate with what it must feel like to be punched in the gut when you’ve been right on track for three weeks and only see an uptick on the scales.
Now before anyone goes in to “weight isn’t everything! Think of how much better you feel! Your clothes must be fitting better!” pep talk, I know these things. Knowing those things, however, doesn’t stop the fact that I do still have a weight loss goal, though I have that goal set for a full year away. It also doesn’t stop the fact that I don’t always feel great. I’m sorry, but here’s the truth from yours truly… Continue reading