In my head: Recruiter edition

In September of this past fall, I made a change of employment putting me back in the recruitment field. It is completely different than the recruiting I was doing ten years ago, but still recruiting. In this new position, I spend quite a bit of time in my car. This would normally mean I’m calling and just randomly chittering at my mother about whatever pops in my head. Unfortunately (for me, not her. I’m pretty sure she thanks the stars every day for this), I am frequently in areas that I have no cell phone service. This means that I’ve got a lot of time on my hands to just be inside my head. This normally ends up with me talking to Olga┬álike she’s not a stuffed otter because I can’t possibly stay silent four hours on end.

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And the selfies. Oh lord. The selfies

Due to this, I bring to you “in my head:recruiter edition”…aka the stuff I think when I’m driving around and doing recruitment. I feel like this may be a continuing feature but we’ll see. Also, I should mention there are words I use that aren’t appropriate for all audiences but I’ve tried to limit those down. Tried.

Before leaving the house…

Do I have everything I need? Did I think of everything I normally wouldn’t think of to include in everything I would need? Okay, I have everything. I have to go or I’m going to be late.

After heading to the car, pulling out, driving to the end of the road.

GAH. I forgot (insert “crayons”, “forms”, “books”, “Olga”, “Barbie”, and so on)

After turning around and going back to the house..

WHERE ARE MY CRAYONS??! Would the boys have them? WHY would teenage boys need crayons?!? (Finds said crayons in bag already in car)

Once back in the car

Okay, what’s the address of this place? I’m going to put it in my GPS so I don’t get lost for the 18481518798789897 time.

5 minutes later…

WHY does this place only have a PO BOX? WHY doesn’t my GPS know where this road is?! It’s the main road in this county?! GAH I’m going to be late. Let’s just try to wing it on getting there.

Once I finally get on the road…

Okay. Bad idea. Use phone for GPS since I can only find it through Google. Must pull over.

Another 5 minutes later…

I’m going to have to teleport or I’ll never make it there in time. I hate that I’m always late. WHY do I have such a bad sense of direction? (Burst in to hysterical tears — This is the point I call my mother if I have cell phone service or that I sit for a minute hugging Olga and crying if I don’t)

Once I’m finally back on the road and on my way…

It sure is pretty through here. Is that a curve coming up?

After almost dying in an unmarked curve…

Thank you lord for not letting me fly off the cliff and die in this county. Wait. What county am I in? Am I still in West Virginia? Where am I? Did that sign just say Kentucky?!?

Once I’ve confirmed that I’m not lost…

Is it possible to get to (50% of the places I go) without getting behind a truck going 5 mph? I’m going to be late.

Once I finally get to where I’m going…

How do I get in here? There are 24 doors. This door? Nope. This door? Nope. This door? (continues on until I’ve tried all but one door) OH! There’s the magical “let me in” silver box. Thank goodness.

After I’m done…

(Sits in the parking lot hugging Olga for a few minutes.)

I can totally make it home without directions. I got this.

30 minutes later…

What state am I in?!?

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